I’m Breaking Up with Coaching

Alright, let’s address the elephant in the room: I’m taking an indefinite hiatus from coaching. I’m going back to my blogging roots with a post to explain my rationale and what’s next for me and Simple Harmonic as a result.

How did we get here?

I entered the online coaching industry as it was booming, just before the pandemic. I’d been blogging for a few years, but seeing the success (and sales pitches) of coaches online piqued my ambitious interest. I was seeking purpose and, to some extent, external validation. I was bored and slightly disengaged at work, and decided I was made for something bigger.

(The funny thing is that this search for deeper meaning and community strongly mirrors my conversion into evangelical Christianity when I was in high school. That’s a story for another day, but the cult-y parallels aren’t lost on me.)

As per usual, I committed myself to this endeavour wholeheartedly. I invested thousands of dollars and thousands of hours into my coaching business. I sought to be the best student in each of the programs I invested in. I nearly quit my job to go full-time in my business multiple times. I stuffed down the cognitive dissonance, labelling it as a problem with my mindset rather than with the situation itself.

For the record: my decision to step away from online coaching is not driven by a lack of financial success, nor from being too busy to keep up with the business on top of everything else. That said, let’s talk about the real reasons.

Why are you quitting?

So here’s the thing. I have no doubt that my work has had, on the whole, a positive impact on my clients. I’ve always sought ongoing feedback throughout my coaching engagements, made adjustments to my programs, and improved my skills through education and experience. I kept the majority of my work focused on organization rather than generic “life coaching” because I wanted to ensure that any advice or direction given stayed within my own niche and expertise. 

But I also know that I may have caused my clients harm, either directly (financially through “industry-standard” pricing or by toeing the line around topics that clearly belong in the realm of licensed mental health professionals) or indirectly (by drawing them deeper into the questionable online coaching space).

Beyond my own impact, the coaching industry itself is largely problematic. Examples of this include predatory pricing; high-pressure sales tactics; lack of regulation, qualifications, licensure, and oversight especially around mental health; MLM-style self-replication and recruiting; faith manipulation… The list goes on.

Personally, I can no longer listen to coaching content without immediately picking out the scammy sales tactics and manipulative messaging hidden within, intentionally or otherwise. And yes, that includes a lot of my own past content.

One of the main drivers of my “coaching deconstruction” was the anti-scam/consumer protection content creator community. My interest began with anti-MLM content, but the overlap with coaching was simply too strong to ignore. Here are some of my favourite creators, if you’d like to take a peek:

• Danielle Ryan
• Roberta Blevins
• Chelsea (CC) Suarez
• Briannah Jewel
• Isabella Lanter
• Josie @ Not The Good Girl
• Savy Writes Books
• CanadianKels (the MLM girlies mass reported her account so she’s on hiatus for now, but I still love her content!)
• Erin Bies

I also have a confession to make: I was anonymously interviewed about my own coaching experiences, as a client and as a coach. You can watch the entire interview with Danielle Ryan here. (Keep in mind that this conversation took place before I had made the decision to quit. If you want to cringe along with me, listen with the cognitive dissonance in mind.)

Now, let me hop off my soapbox and share a massive disclaimer. I am not claiming that every individual coach is malicious, harmful, or unqualified. Is it possible to operate within the coaching industry in an ethical way? Obviously. I’m certain there are plenty of coaches with legitimate experience, good intent, and positive impact on their clients and audiences. In fact, my first instinct when working through this moral dilemma was to focus solely on corporate coaching, so that the exorbitant pricing would hit companies instead of individuals. 

But for me, the mental gymnastics required to navigate the space ethically simply aren’t worth the potential negative impact. I had to decide if I wanted to be spending my time battling the toxic elements of the coaching industry from the inside. Trust me: I do enough “fighting the good fight” in other areas of my life. (If you know, you know.) Ultimately, I don’t want to have to make excuses for the coaching industry and justify my place within it when so much of the space is confusing at best and predatory at worst.

What’s next?

As you can imagine, a lot of my identity, online and otherwise, is wrapped up in coaching. The process of unwinding my content, website, and offerings is going to take time. I appreciate your patience and welcome your feedback during this time.

Of course, I could choose to disappear into the internet abyss. I could stop posting, change my handles, or simply delete my accounts altogether. I certainly didn’t need to publish this blog post. But there’s another piece of me that knows it would be irresponsible to exit this space without taking accountability – and without sharing what I’ve learned about the industry that has caused me to step away from it. Am I embarrassed to be sharing all of this? Obviously. Mortified, really. 

I’m technically still a coach. I’ve got the certification (dubious though it may be) to prove it. The active listening, thoughtful questioning, public speaking, and time management skills I’ve learned have been invaluable for my professional and personal life. And I truly believe in the vast majority of the tips and principles I’ve shared across social media.

You might know that I have a full-time corporate career, which will continue to be a main focus for me. Beyond my work, family, hobbies and interests, the next steps in my journey may include online content. In fact, my husband and I just started working on a podcast as a creative outlet. And who knows – maybe ethical coaching will make a return to my repertoire someday.

So… Still want to work with me as a coach? Well, here’s what I recommend: 

• Book a session with your therapist, or find one if you don’t already have one.
• Intentionally invest time in your community – ideally one that doesn’t charge you to participate.
• DM me if you’d like to chat further about this stuff. (Like, for free.) My handle, for the time being, remains @simpleharmonic.co, but we’ll see if that changes in the future.

If you’ve made it to the end of this post, I want you to know that I am so grateful for your support. (Or for being nosy enough to read the whole thing. That’s a totally valid reaction.) Leave any questions for me in the comments – happy to respond directly or address in future content on this topic.

Best wishes and good vibes,

Hillary
Your (Former) Life Organization Coach