My Facebook memories feature this week reminded me that it’s been exactly five years since graduation. Or, more specifically, five years since convocation: that magical experience of donning the gown, crossing the stage, reminiscing with classmates, and sharing in the excitement and terror of figuring out what’s next.
With everything going on in the world right now, I’ve seen a few quarantine-themed jokes online with this general punchline: Anybody who answered, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” in an interview five years ago got it wrong.
Yes, of course the pandemic is part of it. But really, how many of us are exactly where we thought we would be when we envisioned our lives five years ago? Are you further ahead, or feeling behind? Are you on a different path altogether?
Where I am today isn’t exactly what I imagined as I crossed that convocation stage five years ago. Instead, the lessons that I’ve learned in the past five years since graduation have shaped the path that I’ve taken so far along this journey.
You grow to fit the goals you pursue.
I used to think of long-term goals based on what I thought I could achieve now, if I just had enough time. The problem was that I never really considered how much I could grow as a person in a year, five years, or ten years. Scary goals like taking on management positions before I was “ready”, showing up live on the Internet, or running a business in tandem with a full corporate career seemed completely out of reach. In fact, if you told me at convocation how much I would have grown and accomplished by now, five years later, I probably wouldn’t even believe you. But I learned that by setting the goals that seemed out of reach, I would also give myself the opportunity to build the foundational skills, emotional capacity, and confidence to achieve them.
The most productive thing you can do is be honest with yourself.
I think it’s a giant misconception that being productive is all about staying focused, not getting distracted, and getting things done. That may be true in the short term (like a few hours), but it’s simply not sustainable over a longer period of time. I found this to be especially true in the past year of launching this life organization coaching business, and working with clients facing the same struggles with guilt and procrastination. The long-term productive approach is to figure out your personal best ways of working that align with your core values and traits, and use them to your advantage! (I cover this in detail in my coaching program!)
Life’s timelines are unique and personal.
Generally speaking, when you graduate from school, most of your classmates are at a similar point in their lives. Sure, you might have a few people taking lighter or heavier course loads, longer degrees, or some time off. But everyone’s trajectory up until that point has been approximately the same.
Once we graduated, we started to diverge. Some people went back to school for graduate degrees. Some, like me and my boyfriend, headed into the corporate world. Some became doctors, lawyers, and scientists. Some did an about-face and retrained in a totally different industry. Some bought homes for themselves, some invested in rental properties for others. Some began relationships, ended relationships, got married, or enjoyed the single life. Some travelled extensively and lived abroad. Some collected plant babies, adopted fur babies, and/or had real babies. Some became activists and fought for what they believed in, while some only learned recently to use their voices for good.
We follow a lot of these developments on social media, and it can be tough to compare our own trajectory to those of our friends and former classmates. We get this overwhelming sense that we should be doing all of it. But really, it comes down to personal priorities, values, and circumstances… and knowing yourself well enough to confirm that you’re on the right path for you.
Add joy to the journey wherever you can.
This lesson is an embarrassingly recent discovery for me. We all know inherently that being happy is important, but it’s easy to get caught up in goals, expectations, comparisons, and timelines. I used to feel like feeling good and enjoying life before reaching a target was akin to admitting defeat. That attitude just set me up for disappointment whenever achieving the goal didn’t bring me immense, lasting satisfaction. It was never enough, and I was always chasing the next milestone. Finding joy, whether it’s in little things like walks in the sunshine or bigger experiences like travel with loved ones, is what truly makes the journey worthwhile.
You need clarity to find your passion.
Back in fourth year, when I was spending hours each week stressing about what to do with my life, I kept getting the same “helpful” question: “Well, what are you passionate about?” To which I would reply in distress, “I don’t knooooooowwwww!”
It took me a few years to discover that there were two ways to answer that question: the micro level and the macro level. The micro-level answer helped me discover my core values and how I wanted to live my life. This I uncovered through simple questions like, “What small things do I get excited about when most people don’t?” and “What do I love to share or teach others about?”
The macro-level answer, on the other hand, requires time, energy, and clarity to uncover. That meant I needed to clear the mental and physical clutter in my life before I could truly find it. And this is exactly the process I help my clients with now: clearing the clutter and conquering overwhelm so they can finally create the space they need to envision and pursue a life they’re passionate about.
What lessons have you learned from the past five years? Share your insights in the comments below!
